Dreaming
by tradilien
Summary: To help Harry prepare for his confrontation with Voldemort, he is given the use of a time turner. Feeling alienated from his peers, Harry finds himself drawn to Prof. Lupin. Response to Mortal Moon Challenge
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: All the characters contained within belongs to JKR. I am making no profit from this

PART ONE

Like all good tales, our story had the most unlikely of beginnings. We find ourselves in a library, two people are sitting at a table, though it is difficult to see them due to the amount of books that surround them. These are people who are engrossed in their studies. Apart from the rustle of books as pages are turned and the scratch of quills, all is quiet. It is inevitable, then, that the peace should be disrupted. In this case, by a resounding crash and the outburst of giggling.  
  
Startled and disorientated, Harry Potter jumped at the sudden noise in the library. Looking up, he noted the torchlight flickering in the corners, indicating it was later then he thought and Dennis Creevey on the floor. Obviously the creator of the crash, Dennis Creevey, blushing, picked himself up off the floor to more giggling from the group of girls at a table nearer the door.

Exchanging an irritated look with his study companion, Harry attempted to return his attention to the text in front of him. Halfway down the page, he had the sensation of being watched. An upward glance was rewarded by another outburst of giggling. Stretching the kinks from his back, he began gathering up the books in front of him.

At Hermione's concerned look he explained, "My brain feels fried and I'm not going to be able to concentrate anyway, with them over there analysing and giggling over my every move."

To demonstrate his point, he stretched again, causing more nudging, whispering and giggling.  
"Ok, Just let me finish this paragraph and we can walk up together."

While Hermione finished up, a slight smile touched his lips as he pondered the fact that here he was, in the library on a Saturday night doing ' a little light reading'. This last thought caused a snort to involuntarily escape him as he surveyed the multitude of heavy tomes in front of him. On top of the regular classes he had chosen for his N.E.W.T.S, it had been decided that he should take some advanced study in preparation for his confrontation with Voldemort, including extra D.A.D.A. classes with Professor Lupin.

He had also continued the D.A. and felt extremely grateful to Professor's McGonagall and Dumbledore for organising a time turner. Otherwise, it simply wouldn't have been possible for him to have fulfilled his schedule. If, at times, he felt extremely drained as though he was living two weeks for every one that passed, well, that was something he could live with, especially if it meant he was well prepared. The sense of alienation from his classmates, especially when it came to the things they found important, was something he found a little harder to bear.

" Well that's that finished. Help me re-shelve these and we'll be able to leave sooner."

"Good thinking there. I knew there was a reason you were the brain of our group."

Once the books were re-shelved, they walked in silence to the Gryffindor common room which was a hive of activity and pranks. Ron and Lavender were snuggled together on a chair attempting a simultaneous tonsillectomy.  
Exasperated Hermione exclaimed " Really Ron, couldn't you find a better time and place to do that?" as she attempted to restore order before stomping up to the girl's dorm.

Once Lavender and Ron had managed to say goodnight amid more kissing and "I love you's", Ron asked, " What exactly is her problem? It's not like we were the only couple here."

"Well, you are a prefect, Ron and Hermione has a lot on her plate. She'd probably appreciate some help in keeping discipline! Then again, sometimes, single people don't appreciate having the whole " happy couple" thing shoved into our faces."

"All Hermione thinks about are books and the N.E.W.T.S!"

"It doesn't mean that she wouldn't like someone to appreciate her for whom she is rather then as someone they can use as a study guide!"

This statement was greeted by stunned silence as Ron struggled to make a response. Just as Harry was about to say goodnight, Ron invited Harry to play a game of chess. As they made their opening moves, Ron, apparently still having no response to Harry's comment, changed the topic to Quidditch and Gryffindor's chances against Ravenclaw. Eventually, the talk changed as these things do, " I heard that cute sixth year Hufflepuff Emma something or other has a crush on you"

A light blush graced Harry's cheeks at this.

"Do you ever think of doing anything about your fans? I know things didn't work out between you and Cho but..."

"I don't know, it's just all the girls seem really silly and always giggling. I just can't talk to them."

"There are more things to do then talk, you know?"

" I know but it's not just that. I've taken on a lot of work and I'm not sure I have time for another person in my life. How many times have you broken up with Lavender over Quidditch practice? I don't need that kind of hassle right now. If I did go out with someone, then I'd need them to appreciate the pressure I'm under and to realise that everything can't revolve around them. I'd like to be able to talk things through with them too. I guess I want a lot!"

"Are you sure that you and Hermione shouldn't be together?" Asked Ron with a glint in his eyes.

"I care about Hermione but I don't see her that way."

That apparently ended the conversation as no more was said, until Ron called Checkmate. Harry decided that this was a good time to call it a night.

While preparing for, and getting into bed, Harry replayed the conversation with Ron over in his head. While it would be nice to have someone special in his life, it simply wouldn't be fair to them. He didn't have time in his life for someone else and then, there was the fact that he didn't fancy painting a bullseye on another person for both the press and Voldemort to attack. Listening to some of his mates, relationships seemed like more hassle then they were worth, at least, relationships with your peers. On this thought, Harry began to doze off.

Several hours later, Harry Potter was embroiled in a nightmare familiar to him. Sirius Back, his godfather, was about to fall through the veil. Taking control of his dream, he managed to distract Bellatrix into flinging the curse at him. Abruptly, the dream changed and he had the sensation of hands and, he surmised, though he had no experience, lips, exploring his body. A trail of kisses was laid along his stomach towards his..... When the mysterious person raised their head to smile mischievously. With a gasp, he awoke aroused and his heart racing. Grabbing his glasses, he staggered towards the bathroom, in spite of the late hour, his mind was awhirl with questions and confused thoughts. Stumbling back to bed, sleep proved elusive as more and more thoughts intruded. The next thing he knew Ron was shaking him. Ignoring him, he burrowed deeper under the blankets, muttering that it was a Sunday, he could have a lie in if he wanted and five more minutes please.  
"Harry, mate, you've already missed breakfast. Surely you don't want to miss lunch as well."

Abruptly, Harry leapt from the bed. Throwing his clothes on, he made to leave the dorm.

"I'd have a look in the mirror first!" Ron said with a laugh.

Grumbling, Harry made his way to the bathroom where, on reflection, he had to concede that Ron had a point and it might be better if he went for a shower first.


	2. Mistletoe, gossip and some suspicions

PART TWO

Time passed as it has a tendency to do, first Halloween and then Christmas approached. The dream recurred with increasing frequency causing consternation to Harry. Did the dream indicate that he was interested in this person or did this person occupy his waking thoughts because of his dreams? Caught up in his thoughts, Harry had not realised he had stopped moving. Therefore he was startled by the sound of giggling from, what turned out to be, an attractive blonde in front of him.

"Um, You're under the mistletoe."

More giggling. Looking up, Harry had to concede she was right.

"I see."

"You know, it's magic mistletoe? You won't be able to move until you kiss someone."  
  
Harry could not think of any response to this except " right", which the girl took as some sort of encouragement since she leant forward and kissed him. Unconsciously, Harry closed his eyes. It wasn't wet and it wasn't half bad. In fact, it was quite pleasant. When the kiss finished, he opened his eyes and a pang of disappointment ran through him when he found himself facing blue, not gold eyes. Not quite sure what was appropriate now, Harry mumbled his thanks and fled. That night, his dreams were particularly vivid.  
  
" Harry, you do realise its Christmas and you're allowed to have a break from studying!"

Startled, Harry was about to answer when he felt Madam Pince's disapproving gaze upon him, as though him to disrupt the quiet of her library further. Deciding not to risk her wrath, he contented himself with giving one of his rare smiles until Sirius had settled himself where he answered.

"Yes, I know it's Christmas but I want to get this work done and this is the only place I can get some peace."

"Most of the students have gone home, I'd have thought the Gryffindor common room would be fairly quiet?"

" They are but the ones left keeping making comments or asking questions."

When Sirius said nothing, Harry continued,

" I got caught under the mistletoe by a Gryffindor fifth year and now everyone wants details except there are no details."

"So what's the fuss unless of course you'd like there to be details?"

"No"

" You know, you are allowed to have a life outside study. Everything doesn't revolve around N.E.W.T.S, no matter what Hermione would have you believe."  
" No, but there is the little matter of Voldemort."

"Still you shouldn't let that stop you socialising and making friends!"

" I have friends."

" You know what I mean?"

" I know but I, well, actually, I just feel like I don't have anything to talk to them about. They all seem to be obsessed with the latest articles in Witch Weekly, who wore which gown and beauty products. It all seems so juvenile and they're always giggling. How did you stand it?"

" There are other things to do apart from talk"

" Yeah, that's what Ron said."

" Well it's true. As for them seeming immature I don't recall having that problem, if anything, I reckon the girls in my year considered me juvenile."

" So did all the girls in the years below you, in fact, the general consensus was that the average first year had more maturity then you, Padfoot."

The appearance of Professor Lupin behind Sirius, mischievous smile reminiscent of his dream caused Harry to flush, remembering what had happened after the smile. As an attempt to distract himself from such thoughts, he began to fidget, tidying up papers and books.

" We missed you at dinner, Harry."

"It's not that late, is it?"

"Afraid so."

"If you're hungry, we can raid the kitchens and head back to Moony's where I can fill you in on all that's happened these past few months."

"Ok but I'll meet you there. I've got to take some of this stuff back to my room."

Harry caught up with them as they were halfway to Professor Lupin's rooms. Harry's eyebrow rose at the amount of food in their arms. Sirius gave his bark like laugh before commenting " you know what house elves are like!"

"I'm sure he does but once Sirius left slip that it was for you, well, you're lucky that we only left with what we could carry and not an entourage of house elves as well."

Harry felt distracted, being in Professor Lupin's private rooms and picked at his food, making only non committal noises to Sirius's various comments. Eventually the conversation trailed off and Sirius asked " How is everything going? I know what you said to me but you're not hiding in the library because you've had a fight with your friends?"

Harry shook his head pushing the food around with his fork.

"Lessons going ok? That greasy git Snape's not been giving you too much hassle, has he?"

"Padfoot," said Remus reprovingly.

"That's Professor Snape and now that you mention it, he did conduct various tests concerning how human react to several potions he's invented at our last lesson."

As Sirius made to leap out of his chair, muttering vile threats, Remus pushed him back down into his chair. Remus and Harry found themselves laughing at the expression on his face.

"Relax, Sirius, Professor Snape is no worse then usual and it's nothing I can't handle."  
  
Still muttering about visiting Snape, Sirius settled back into his chair, eventually he calmed enough to say, "Well if it's not Snape then it must be the slave driver next to me" with a grin.  
  
Sirius's words evoked memories of his dream, causing arousal and embarrassment to rush through him. Harry considered telling him that yes, Remus was distracting him, though not for any reason he was sure Sirius could conceive of. However, he wasn't sure that he could handle either man's reaction if they knew exactly what Harry's D.A.D.A. teacher and godfather's, not to mention his father's best friend, got up to in his dreams.

Instead, he settled with saying, "I am not hiding. I really have work that I want to get done and at the moment the library is nice and quiet."

"Actually, all the Professors are quite pleased with your progress this year, even Severus. Well, as satisfied as Severus will ever be with a Gryffindor. His words were I believe " The boy may actually possess a smidgeon of intelligence."  
  
Harry smiled at the thought of Professor Snape ever bestowing a compliment, not to mention a compliment on him. Such an event, he'd have once of thought as likely to happen as Neville having a potions class without causing an explosion. He imagined the expression on Professor Snape's face as he spoke those words must have been quite similar to his expression in that potions class.  
"Thanks."

"No need to thank me, you've done all the work."

" I don't think I would have got this far without all your help. I know I didn't make things easy."

"If you're finding it difficult to get space to work, you're still welcome here anytime, not just when we have our extra class."  
  
"Thank you. I might take you up on that offer. Well, I think I should call it a night. Thanks for dinner."

"I'll walk you up, Harry, wouldn't want you to get into trouble with Filch for being out after curfew!"

"Okay."

"Everything all right, Moony?"

"Yes, No. Did Harry seem uncomfortable around me to you?"

"Well, he seemed very quiet."

"Yes, he's been like that at our extra D.A.D.A. classes. He also flinches when I come near him. I can't figure out why though? If I didn't know that he was already aware I was a werewolf, I'd think that was it. Unless he's read or heard something that's changed his opinion of me. I know he was very angry at me after you went through the veil, but I thought that was resolved so I'm extremely puzzled about what exactly is going on!"

"It's probably nothing. Harry's a teenager, you know, odd behaviour is actually a definition of them. We were all there once, don't you member what it was like, our bodies betraying us at all the wrong times, embarrassing us. Well, actually, maybe not you," Sirius answered with a teasing grin.

"Maybe, you're right."

Sirius stayed for the Christmas break which passed far too quickly in Harry's opinion. The questions from his friends eventually died down and Christmas morning brought an unusual array of presents, Luna's were, perhaps, the oddest he had ever received. The present from Sirius and Remus, however, caused a mixture of emotions, joy that Remus had, perhaps, put time, thought and effort into getting him a present and jealousy that there might be something going on between his godfather and his best friend. For the rest of his godfather's stay, he watched them closely in an attempt to get clues as to their relationship. But the only conclusion he could come to was that they were incredibly circumspect, he was completely dense when it came to picking up clues or they were, as stated, simply friends. Hermione would probably argue he was the middle option and he had briefly considered asking her opinion but that would mean explaining why he wanted to know and that was one conversation he was not yet ready for. He did notice that Remus was watching him fairly closely. He found himself wondering if Remus suspected his student had a crush on him and what that had done to his opinion of Harry.

The last night of Sirius's stay, they were sitting in Sirius's room, playing exploding snap. Harry having decided that, perhaps, he could take one more break from his books.

"You would tell me if there was something bothering you, wouldn't you? No matter what it was?"

"Of course. Why?"

"Moony thinks he's offended or upset you somehow and I have to admit you tend to be tense around him and the past few days you've been watching him intently."

"Oh."

Harry felt his cheeks heat and surmised that he must resemble a tomato.

"Moony has been an outcast most of his life because of something he can't change. He thought you had accepted and were okay with his lycanthropy and well, he's quite upset at the thought that maybe, you think, he is actually little more then a monster."

"It's nothing like that. I can't explain it at the moment but well, I couldn't imagine Remus not being a werewolf, it's so much a part of who he is. I don't think, he'd be the same person without it."  
  
Remus is it? Thought Sirius to himself and he seems quite passionate about the fact that he doesn't dislike him or feel revulsion. Suddenly Sirius thought of James and how he used to look at Lily, even before she acknowledged his existence and decided to let the subject drop.

"Well I'm here when you're ready to talk and Moony has always been a good listener."

"Thanks and Thanks again for the present, it's brilliant."

"Moony's the one you really want to thank, he's the one who sorted it out."

If anything, Harry seemed to be even more pleased and Sirius felt his suspicions become more concrete.

"Listen, I've started animagus training with Professor McGonagall. Since it might prove a handy talent when I confront Voldemort, or perhaps, for auror training. So I was thinking, since you've some experience, perhaps you could run me through some of the problems you experienced and how you overcame them?"

"Okay."  
  
The rest of the night passed with Sirius recalling the various problems the marauders had experienced, which led to reminiscing about the various pranks they had pulled. These tales were received with a variety of responses, laughter, incredulous looks and in some cases, disapproval. Sirius also explained a little bit about the creation of the marauder's map.


	3. Part three: Valentine's Day

PART THREE

By Valentine's Day, Harry felt increasing grateful to Professor Lupin and his offer. The return of the students after Christmas meant that the mistletoe incident was rehashed again. Fortunately for Harry, at least, there are always things happening for the students to gossip about. In this case, it was Dean Thomas and Seamus Finneagan, who were caught snogging in the Astronomy Tower.  
  
The run up to Valentine's day, however, meant that the library saw an influx of students seeking magical remedies to the problems in their love life. While Harry only had to field questions regarding his Valentines plans, Hermione was constantly interrupted by students who thought this potion or that charm would solve all their problems. Harry wasn't that surprised when she stopped going to the Library, although he did wonder where she had found to study instead.

"Would you mind if I spent Valentine's Day here? I mean if you don't have any other plans!"

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise but replied " No, I have no other plans except perhaps correcting essays, but surely you have plans?"

"No and I'm not sure I could handle all the giggling girls and the lovey dovey cuteness that typifies the established happy couples."

"Harry. You're too young for such a cynical outlook on life."

"I'm not sure I've ever been young. Immature and temperamental. Yes, but young no!"

Valentine's day dawned damp and miserable, which actually had no effect on the atmosphere in Hogwarts. The corridors were abuzz with excitement, The decorations adding to the general atmosphere. Breakfast was especially tense as the owls delivered the post. Harry felt as though the whole hall was watching as three owls delivered cards to him.

Grabbing some toast, he stuffed the cards into the bag and made his escape. Hermione must have decided to skip breakfast and Ron was too busy with Lavender to notice his leaving. Heading to Remus's room, he found Remus standing, cloak in hand, ready to go out.

"I thought you didn't have any plans?" said Harry, aware of the whine in his voice and hating it.

"I didn't but then I thought you might like a trip to Hogsmeade. So I spoke to the Headmaster and he said okay. If you don't want to, its okay. I should have mentioned something but I didn't want to get your hopes up, when I wasn't sure if it would go ahead."

"Um...Okay. I'll get my cloak."

The day out in Hogsmeade proved to be very enjoyable. Like Hogwarts, Hogsmeade was awash with festivities, but instead of dampening Harry's spirits, he actually felt apart of the celebrations. Harry found himself babbling away to Remus, aided by the various comments Remus made in response. They visited the Quidditch where Harry found himself drooling over the latest broom model, the bookstore where Harry had to pry Remus away from the books, although he had noted some titles he would mention to Hermione.

Remus decided to indulge his sweet tooth in a visit to HoneyDukes. The store was decorated especially festivally and watching Remus eat chocolate was an experience in itself, well watching and hearing him eat chocolate. Harry wished he possessed the courage to just grab him and snog him senseless. The visit to Zonko's brought out the marauder in Remus and Harry saw the years melt away. The trip also proved informative as he learnt some uses for certain things that he imagined, not even the twins had thought of. Their last stop was The Three Broomsticks where butterbeer was the order of the day. Harry couldn't believe that, today had turned out so differently to what he had expected and he wished there was some way he could prolong it.

On arriving back, Harry suddenly found himself flustered about what to say. The surroundings reminded him that Remus was actually his professor.

"Thanks for a great day, Professor."

"My pleasure, Harry. You deserve a little fun now and then. You've worked exceptionally hard this year."

"Well, thank you."

"If you want, you can hide out in my rooms a little longer and play chess."

Grateful for any excuse to prolong the day, Harry agreed eagerly. Remus proved to be a talented player, beating Harry even faster then Ron. Though Harry couldn't remember ever being distracted by the way Ron bit his lip as he concentrated or the little furrows between his eyes.

Harry remembered a question he had for Remus regarding one of their lessons and decided to pull out the relevant book, glad he had decided to leave his bag there that morning. The three cards he received that morning came out with the books.

"Ah, you never told me you got some valentine's cards. So who are they from? Or weren't they signed?"

"I haven't opened them yet."

"Really? I don't think I could have put off opening them!"

"I had completely forgotten about them."

"Was there a particular someone you were hoping to get a card?"

Harry didn't think replying You, was the best idea he had ever had.

"What's the obsession with my love life or lack thereof?"

"We know things haven't been easy for you and we want you to be happy. Don't you ever wish for someone to share things with, apart from Ron and Hermione. Especially now you need a crowbar to get him away from Lavender?"

"Occasionally. It doesn't bother me that much. What about you? Did you get any valentines cards?" As soon as the words were out, Harry wished he could take them back.

"Yes, I seem to have a secret admirer!"

"Really"

"There's no need to sound so shocked. I'm not That old and decrepit, you know."

"Sorry, I don't think that."

"Think what?"

"That you're decrepit!"

"Unfortunately, I reckon the cards are from some infatuated first years."

"You might be surprised. I've heard several of the girls in my year discussing your attributes. Hermione even joined in." Harry suddenly realised what he was saying and decided to shut up.

"Hermione, huh?"

"Yeah, well I'd better go. I don't want to run into Filch tonight. I'd probably be old and decrepit before I got out of detention."

"Very well, Good night Harry. Thank you for a very enjoyable day."

"Good night, Professor."

Upon reaching Gryffindor Tower, Harry felt like hitting his head off a wall, recalling how much babbling he had done that day and how many times he had just wanted to tell Remus exactly how he felt, with perhaps, a demonstration. Remus probably thought he was some sort of babbling idiot, who should be locked up for the good of those around him. He had to admit that, embarrassment aside, he had never had such an enjoyable day or felt so comfortable with anyone. Now that he was away from Remus, he felt bereft of something he couldn't quite articulate.

That night, he dreamt of being held safe and loved.


	4. Revelations

PART FOUR

Once Valentine's Day had passed, time seemed to pass even faster. Easter was upon them, in what felt like, the blink of an eye, in spite of all the extra days, Harry had added to the term with his use of the time turner. Deciding to do some calculations, Harry reckoned that he had, perhaps, added nearly two years to his real age, through his use of the time turner. It was amazing how the time just added up. The proximity of the exams had an effect on them all, even Ron decided that, perhaps visiting the library would not be such a bad idea.

The library was alive with activity and Madam Pince's lips had disappeared with disapproval, at some of the student's antics. A few of the more studious students had already ended up in the infirmary, due to the stress. A few of the late studiers appeared to be near to needing her services also, as they forgot to do things like sleep and eat, when they discovered exactly how necessary some of that extra reading was to understanding their notes.

On one particularly nice day, it occurred to Harry that he might try combining study with fresh air. Ron agreed that this was one of harry's better ideas and joined him outside, which was where Hermione found them, looking very upset. Given how studious Hermione was, the shared glance between Ron and Harry indicated that they both thought it was N.E.W.T. related. To say they were surprised, when the first words out of her mouth weren't about some minor differences in a potion or transfiguration exercise or some discrepancy between one book and the other but " Guys, Oh God I don't know how to tell you this!" would be an understatement.

When after a minute, Hermione had not continued. Harry decided that something had happened to her parents, or maybe Ron's parents or Ginny and by Ron's face he was thinking along the same lines. Hermione found herself embraced by the boys as she sat there sobbing. Eventually, she calmed down enough to try to talk again.

"Professor Snape is missing."

Whatever they expected to be told, this wasn't it and the nonplused looks they gave her spoke volumes about their confusion.

"So, no more hassle from the greasy git!"

Hermione continued as though Ron hadn't spoken, "He was summoned at the start of the Easter break and, well, he's not back. Professor Dumbledore just told me, they haven't heard a thing from him. The teachers are really concerned."

Ron seemed about to speak again, when Harry, who had been watching Hermione's face, told him to be quiet. Ron sat there stunned by Harry's forceful tone.

"He'll be okay. Snape's a survivor."

"He's probably gone back to "you know who's" side."

"Ron, I already told you to shut up, next time you speak like that, I'll hex you."

Giving Hermione another hug, he asked, "How long have you felt like this?"

"Since the start of the year."

"Does he know?"

"Yes but he won't do anything until I finish school. I know you don't like him and he's not exactly the type of man all girls would go for. I mean, no one could describe him as handsome and he isn't the easiest person, but he just fits, if you what I mean?"

"Not really, but if he makes you happy then I'm happy. Is that where you've been running off to when you've been chased out of the library?"

"Yeah. Thanks Harry, your support means a lot to me. Ron?"

"Well I won't deny that I'm not shocked. I mean its Snape, he's a slytherin but its like Harry says, I guess. Just don't expect me to start throwing him parties and acting as though he's my best friend!"

"I'll have to agree with Ron on those points but otherwise....."

"Thanks guys. I doubt Professor Snape would enjoy you doing that anyway. He'd probably think that the world's about to end or something"

"Don't worry he'll turn up"

"Oh look, if it isn't a Gryffindork bonding session."

"Malfoy!"

"Great grasp of names there, Weasel."

"Better then yours anyway."

As usual when the Gryffindor trio came into contact with Malfoy and his cronies, there was a scuffle. This one ended, at least, with the minimum of hexing. When they turned back to Hermione, she was looking at a piece of parchment with the oddest expression.

"We need to find the Headmaster NOW."

The parchment turned out to contain clues to Professor Snape's location. The headmaster assured them that he would check out it and let them know what they found out. When Harry went to Remus's rooms to study, Remus was preparing to travel.

"Where are you going?"

"The headmaster has asked me to check out the information we got on Severus's whereabouts."

"Oh. Well you will be careful?"

"Of course. Listen, I'll give you the password to my rooms so you can still come here to study when you need some peace."

"Thanks."

Time seemed interminably long, as they awaited news of Professor Snape's whereabouts and well-being. Hermione was especially tense, sleep continually evaded her and she kept skipping meals. Even being reminded that the N.E.W.T.S were coming, and that Snape wouldn't appreciate her failing them over him, didn't help. Harry had to admit that he understood a little of what she was going through, as thoughts of Remus kept intruding. Ron and Hermione were arguing again, when Harry found himself blurting out,

"I think I'm in love with Professor Lupin."

"Eh What? Come again?"

"Professor Lupin?"

"Yeah"

Harry was aware of Ron and Hermione's scrutiny and he found himself wishing he had kept his mouth shut. While Ron just seemed shocked, Hermione looked thoughtful.

"What are you going to do?"

"Okay what is it with you guys and professors?"

"What can I do? While at least he doesn't see me only as "the boy who lived," he does see me as Harry Potter, his dead best friend's son. Not exactly boyfriend material!"

"You know I'm not sure he does just see you as his best friend's son, but I think it would be best if you left telling how you feel til after you finish the exams and are no longer his student. I definitely think he'd turn down a student on principle."

"You know, I haven't even thought about whether he likes blokes that way!"

"You like blokes?"

"I'm not sure, Ron, I like Remus, but I also thought that girl at Christmas was quite cute."

Ron seemed prepared to accept and Harry felt a sense of relief, at having finally put what he was feeling into words.

Several days later, Professor Snape was back with Professor Lupin. Hermione was overjoyed and Harry slept a bit better that night. Now that Harry knew about Hermione and his potion's professor, he could see all the small gestures that had never suggested anything to him before. He suddenly wondered if he should mention his suspicions about Remus and Sirius to Hermione, but decided that she had enough on her plate at the moment.

Professor Snape might not be a demonstrative person, but he felt that those small gestures spoke far more poignantly then any flamboyant gesture. Harry felt both happy and a little jealous of what his friend. One day, if he survived Voldemort, maybe he could have the same thing with Remus


	5. Part Five The NEWTS

PART FIVE

The last day of the N.E.W.T.S dawned bright and clear. Breakfast had gone past in a blur. The first exam of the day had been particularly hard and two students had had to be removed from the exam hall. At least, he was another step closer to finishing and perhaps Remus.

Hermione and Ron had proven to be remarkably supportive following his revelation. Ron had remarked that, at least it meant he would never have him as a brother-in-law and none of his nieces or nephews would have the birds nest that Harry considered hair. Hermione had reassured Harry that Sirius and Remus were merely friends and proceeded to relate some of the stories she had heard. Harry and Hermione had also discussed the various approaches he could use. Turning up naked in his bed had quickly been dismissed as a very bad idea.

Harry suddenly realised that Ron was trying to get his attention.

"What?"

"You've been sitting there with your fork in front of your mouth for the last ten minutes."

"Sorry."

"It's ok. It's these exams. They've sent us all a bit loopy. Hermione has just gone to cross reference something she wrote in her notes."

"Are you sure that's where she's gone?"

"Oh don't go there, please? I don't need that thought in my head before an exam. That Ravenclaw lad is still gibbering in the corner. Anyway, I hope she hurries up. It's nearly time to go to the exam hall."

Hermione had not returned by the time they left the main hall and they met up with her halfway to the exam hall, talking to Professor Lupin.

"Harry, Ron how are you? Hermione and I were just discussing the D.A.D.A. exam. What was your opinion of it?"

"I've blanked it out."

"RON."

"Hermione not everyone likes to replay an exam over and over again, so that we're convinced we've actually failed, as we hear all the points that other people put in or we remember the important points we meant to put in or how other people interpreted the questions."

"You and Harry discuss quidditch games over and over again?"

"That's different. That's tactics!"

"How did you find it, Harry?"

"I think I covered the main points."

"You must be excited about being so close to finishing. Any plans for tonight?"

"I know a bunch of the students are heading into Hogsmeade for a night on the town. Neither Dumbledore nor McGonagall seem particularly enthusiastic about the idea of me going with them though."

"I know it might be cramping your style a bit, but maybe if I offered to go with you, the headmaster might allow you to partake in some of the celebrations?"

"Would you?"

"Of course, it's not every day you finish your N.E.W.T.S and it'd be a shame to miss out on the associated celebrations. You've missed too much as it is!"

The trio quickly showed their appreciation and plans were made to meet in the entrance hall. Hermione became especially excited after Professor Lupin left them and they continued on their way to the exam hall.

"You know, this could just be the opportunity you've been waiting for."

"Yes, because declarations of love should, invariably, be made in incredibly public places with plenty of witnesses, just so you'll never forget the rejection."

Smacking Harry over the head, Hermione said, "don't think like that!"

"Hermione, I'm about to go into an exam and you decide to kill off some of the few remaining brain cells I have."

"Actually, I'm not sure it'll make any real difference."

"Ha ha. You're a real comedian."

"I was being serious."Exchanging a group hug, they headed to their places to start the exam.


	6. Part Six: Celebrations and a nasty surpr...

PART SIX

The celebrations began as soon as the exam finished. By the time, they reached the entrance hall, Harry was feeling decidedly mellow and brave, when Remus joined them, looking particularly sexy. Harry felt his spirits deflate slightly though, when he noticed Tonks with him.

"Oh Good, you're here. Professor Dumbledore says it okay to go to The Three Broomsticks but no wandering. He has also organised for us to floo directly from here to The Three Broomsticks. "

"Thanks professor."

"Well let's go."

Arriving they found the place brimming with people and after a bit, managed to get some seats. It was hard to hear what everyone was saying with the noise, but Remus eventually felt fairly clear on what they wanted and went to the bar to get it. Harry used the opportunity to hiss at Hermione "What's Tonks doing here?"

"Dumbledore probably insisted that an auror accompany us and she is a member of the order. I doubt it means anything!"

"I'm sure it doesn't mean anything," said Ron, "Look."  
  
Sure enough Ron was right, Tonks, at least, was not trying for Remus's affection even if he was interested in her. Neville appeared to be much more her type.

"You know, I am starting to feel a like bit of an oddity in our year!"

"How do you mean?"

"Hermione and Snape. You and well."

"Yeah?"

"And now Neville and Tonks!"

"I see what you mean. You are happy with Lavender, right?"

Before he could answer, Remus was back, hands full.

"Everyone all right?"

"Yeah."

"Well I hope I got this order right."

"Thank you Professor." Chorused the trio together.

"Please, you all finished your exams today. I think we can dispense with the professor, at least, as far as I am concerned. Remus is just fine. The other professors may disagree so don't take it as permission on their part."

Even though, Tonks had turned out to be interested in Neville ( who they would have to interrogate later for information), her presence had dampened his confidence somewhat and he felt stupid for letting Hermione get his hopes up. He felt completely tongue tied, Ron was no help since he had attached himself to Lavender. Hermione ended up carrying the conversation.

"Harry."

"What?"

"Prof.. I mean Remus was just asking about our plans?"

"Surviving Voldemort sounds good to me!"

"I reckon, that sounds good to all of us but what about career plans?"

"If I get the grades, I'll probably try for auror training. I think I'd learn some valuable skills and maybe I'd finally have access to information. If I survive the confrontation with Voldemort, then I think I'd like to do something different maybe even travel for a while. I've never been on a holiday you know. I think I'd like to get a map, just stick a pin in it and go there."

"As far as auror training, Tonks is really the one you should talk to. That might have to wait til we can pry her away from Neville though," Said Remus, with a laugh, "at least I know why she volunteered to come now."

"She volunteered?" asked Harry.

"Yeah, when I asked Dumbledore about you going out tonight. He called a small order meeting and she offered to come with me."

After that the talk turned to Hermione's plans for the future, Harry wasn't exactly sure how many degrees she planned on taking, or where she would find the time or energy but then when had Hermione left a small thing like time get in her way. Harry hoped that she would at least make enough time for Snape.

"Have you ever thought about playing quidditch professionally?"

Harry realised that he had been so lost in thought that he had not noticed Hermione finishing and startled he struggled to answer Remus's question.

"Professor Hooch asked me that question as well. I'm not sure I answered her any better. I enjoy playing quidditch and flying is just the greatest experience ever. I'm just not sure that it's something I want to make a career out of. Anyway I don't know if I'm good enough."

"The youngest seeker in a century."Scoffed Ron.

"Oh you're back in our conversation!" Said Harry.

"Yeah, it was the word Quidditch that did it." Answered Lavender.

"Sorry!"

It's ok. I love you anyway."

"Professional quidditch is a different league altogether. In addition, how would I know that my status as the "boy who lived" hadn't influenced the selectors. Then, there's the press, you know how they make a big thing out of everything I do. I'd only be asking them to pry in my life and imagine if I was crap."

"Harry, I think there's...." Remus's voice trailed off as it became apparent, that the noises outside might not merely be the result of high spirits. Tonks also looked alert.

"Gather the students together and get them back to Hogwarts." Remus quickly gave instructions regarding an emergency route to Hogwarts. When Harry tried to resist, Hermione grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him in the direction they were told to go. Tonks had her wand out as did several other students.

"No I want to help." Struggling out of Hermione's grasp, he turned to follow Remus who had gone to check out the situation and found himself face to face with a death eater. Before the death eater could attack, Remus despatched him and returned to the trio.

"Didn't I tell you to leave? "

"We're going"

"No, we're not."

"Harry, this is not open for discussion, the safest place for you, right now, is Hogwarts."

"So more people get hurt and I, run back to Hogwarts like a coward."

"It's not like that, please, lets just go!" Urged Hermione.

"Harry, a wise man learns to choose his battles, this is not the time or place."

Reluctantly, Harry agreed with their points and they began to make their escape. Luck proved not to be on their side, as they ended up wandering straight into the path of a band of death eaters, which included Bellatrix. For the first time in ages, Harry felt that unreasonable rage fill him and he started firing spells at her which left the others with no choice but to attack also.

"Oh, if it isn't little Harry, feeling all brave tonight are we? My lord will be very happy to have a little talk with you"

The exchange of spells was rapid and Bellatrix seemed surprised by his spell casting ability. Noticing her gaze move slightly from him, Harry managed to stupefy her, the cry from behind alerting him to the fact, that a death eater had been about to attack him.

Before he could thank Remus, Remus gave a cry of pain and went down. Peter Pettigrew looking jubilant behind him. A weird white noise in his head, Harry attacked with everything he could muster, Peter, like the rat he was, transformed and ran.

When the aurors arrived, Harry was sitting next to Remus, apologising for fighting with him and begging him to wake up and be ok because he cared so much for him and he couldn't imagine life without him.


	7. Part Seven: Further Revelations and some...

PART SEVEN

When Remus awoke in the infirmary, he quickly found himself with an armful of Harry Potter, who was clinging to him as though everything depended on him holding Remus.

"You're finally awake. I've been so worried. I'm so sorry I'll never argue with you again."

"Erm, okay but can I have some room to breathe please?" he eventually managed to rasp out. The result was that Harry loosened his grip somewhat, amidst another torrent of apologies.  
  
"Ah, Professor Lupin, you're awake," said Madam Pomfrey, running her wand over him. When she seemed satisfied, she fixed his pillows, so that he was sat up and gave him some water which relieved some of the dryness in his throat. He ached all over and he noted that while, Harry no longer clung to him, he did hold his hand.

"What happened?"

" What happened is that you've scared us all half to death!"

Remus became aware, that the infirmary had filled with concerned faces. Harry also seemed to realise this at about the same time and released his grip somewhat. The loss of that grip caused some conflicting feelings in Remus but he decided to concentrate on what the others were saying.

"Mr. Black is, indeed, quite correct. You gave us all quite a scare. What do you remember?"

"Going to Hogsmeade. There was an attack. Was anyone else hurt?"

"No, only you. Pettigrew chose a rather nasty spell, especially for werewolves. Harry, as you can see, Professor Lupin will be ok. You look as though you are asleep on your feet, so I suggest you return to the Gryffindor tower. Remus will still be here when you awaken."  
  
Harry looked rebellious but did as the Headmaster instructed, giving Remus's hand one last squeeze. Remus felt he should say something but his eyes grew heavy and he fell asleep. Waking an unknown time later, he felt someone watching him, turning, his gaze locked with the intense green one of Harry Potter. Not sure of what those eyes were telling him, he said the first thing that came out

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?"  
  
The past week had passed in a daze for Harry. Professor Lupin had been unconscious since the attack and Harry, distraught, had refused to move from his side for anything. Food had been brought to him, but that had been returned mostly uneaten. Dumbledore had been quite correct when he had described the spell used by Pettigrew as nasty and there had been some concern that Remus would not survive.

Now that he had awoken, Harry felt at first relieved and then guilty, fearful that Remus would be angry at him. Harry had reached the conclusion that it would be best if he kept his feelings to himself. Remus wouldn't be interested in someone as immature as him when his gazed locked with the amber gaze of Remus.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?"

"That was yesterday."

And Remus had to admit that Harry did look fresher then he had the last time he saw him, when he found himself with an armful of Harry once more, a very distraught Harry. The words were garbled as they tumbled out of his mouth, but Remus caught the gist of it and made soothing noises, while he rubbed reassuring circles on his back. Remus found himself being distracted by the scent of Harry but forced himself to concentrate on calming the young man down.

"Harry. It's ok. It's not your fault."

"If I had moved when you told me, instead of fighting with you. When I thought you were going to die, I couldn't bear it and it would be my fault. I always seem to hurt the people I love."

"Harry. You can't take responsibility for everything. I'm ok. Don't worry mph."Before he could finish, Harry's lips had descended onto his. Harry's very nice lips whispered a traitorous part of his mind, caught by surprise, he allowed Harry's tongue access before breaking the embrace. Harry's body language was defensive and he seemed unable to meet Remus's eyes.

"Harry. This has been a very stressful time. I realise you might have been worried, but I think you might be misinterpreting how you feel."

"I'm not. I know how I feel. I've known for months. You hate me."

"I don't."

"You think I'm disgusting."

"Never."

"Then, why don't you like me?"

"I'm flattered that you think I'm attractive but it's inappropriate. I'm your teacher."

"Not anymore."

"I was friends with your father. I'm still friends with your godfather, who, by the way, would me kill for this. I'm too old for you"

"Tell that to Hermione and Snape!"

"Hermione and Snape? Anyway, that's not the point. You deserve to have at least one normal experience in your life. You should be with someone your own age."

"I don't want someone my own age and you didn't seem that bothered by Neville and Tonks, so what's your problem now?"

There isn't the same age gap between Neville and Tonks!"

When that appeared to have no effect on Harry, Remus continued,

"Look as you say the press already make your life a misery. Imagine what they'd say, if they knew you were seeing me? A known werewolf!"

"I don't care that you're a werewolf. It doesn't make you any less human."

"Actually, I'm classified as a magical beast, a dark creature, not a human."

"I don't care. The ministry is stupid. You're one of the best people I know. You've always been there for me and I care very much for you. The wolf isn't the only side of you. Just like being the "boy who lived" isn't solely who I am. You've always seen me as Harry."

"Harry, I'm not discussing this any further, as there is nothing more to say." And proceeded to close his eyes. A short while later, he heard footsteps fade away as Harry left the infirmary.

"Taking the cowards way out again Lupin?"

Opening his eyes, Remus found himself face to face with Severus Snape holding a familiar goblet. Noticing his gaze on the goblet, Severus answered, "Modified wolfsbane, you're not strong enough for the usual potion, but this should ease your transformation somewhat."

"Thank you"

"You never answered my question!"

"Is it true about you and Hermione?"

"Yes."

"It has been a very emotional time for Harry and Harry, for all he's been through, is a teenager. Teenagers think they're in love at the drop of a hat. He'll be in love with someone else next week and full of embarrassment that he could ever think his old DADA professor was attractive"

"I don't think so. These feelings have been developing all year."

"Right and you know this how? I never imagined you and Harry as bosom buddies."

"We're not but I do still have occlumency lessons with the impertinent brat and while he has improved beyond anything I expected of James Potter's son. I do still get glimpses. Then there's the fact that Hermione confides in me and Harry confides in her. "

"He's not James. Hermione told you that Harry fancied me?"

"I know. Thank Merlin for small mercies. And yes she did. She wanted to know what I thought?"

"What did you say?"

"That you'd be well suited!"

"Really?"

"Really."

"Thanks for your insights, Severus and the wolfsbane."

"Remus."

The surprise of Snape using his first name caused Remus to open his eyes again.

"These are uncertain times, don't throw away a chance at happiness. You might also be the anchor that Harry needs to help him defeat the dark lord."

Before Remus could respond, Severus had swept from the room, robes billowing around him.

"Moony, for someone who's remarkably lucky that his hide's still relatively intact, you're not looking very happy."

"I had a visitor, well no, I had two and I am beginning to think I have awoken in some alternate universe."

"I'll assume the first visitor was Harry and he's figured out how he feels, but who was the other one?"

"You knew? Since when?"

"I suspected since my visit at Christmas. After you voiced your concerns to me, I kept an eye on your interaction to see if I could figure out what was up. Then all his letters have been about you. It's Remus said this and Remus said that and we did this. Add to that the fact that he hasn't moved from your side since you were brought in! Well? What did you say to him?"

"That it was inappropriate, I'm a werewolf, twice his age and his teacher."

"Not any longer."

"That's what he said. He also told me to voice those objections to Hermione and Snape."

"Hermione and Snape?" Remus was almost amused at Sirius's reaction to the thought of those two together.

"That's exactly the kind of reaction people would have to Harry and I being together."

"You're not a greasy git like Snape!"

"No I'm a werewolf, which is much worse in many people's estimation."

"I notice, you didn't say that you don't have feelings for him."

"Padfoot!"

"What?"

"I'm too old for him. Harry hasn't had a lot of experience in relationships. A week down the line, he might change his mind."

"And he mightn't. Harry isn't your average teenager."

"But he does deserve, at least, one thing normal in his life and a werewolf as a partner isn't it! I've resigned myself to the fact that, relationships aren't for me. I'm meant to be alone and that's it. I'm too old. I can't put myself through that pain again."

"Out of all the people I've met, I can most definitely say, that you are not meant to be alone and Harry's a Potter. You know what they're like when they set their mind on something. Remember James and Lily."

"I do and I'm not Lily."

"And Harry's not James but I don't think he's imagining what he feels for you."

"You're taking the fact that, your godson propositioned your werewolf friend very well. Where are the threats of eternal pain and castration?"

"Stop trying to change the subject. I think you could make Harry happy but if you do hurt him, they will still be looking for pieces of you in the next century."

Two weeks later, once he had recovered from his transformation, Madam Pomfrey decided he was well enough to go back to his rooms to recuperate, provided that was all he did. Harry had not visited again and Remus felt unable to ask for him. He wasn't sure what he would say. Severus, Sirius and Albus had taken to nagging him regarding this.

The journey to his rooms had never felt so difficult, but with Sirius's help, he eventually reached his rooms.

"I thought Madam Pomfrey said you were better?"

"What she said that there was no need to for me to take up an infirmary bed, when I could get the rest I require to get better in my rooms!"

"When are you going to talk to Harry?"

"Padfoot."

"I've seen Hermione and Albus with their heads together and you know the kind of plan Albus can come up with! Imagine how much worse he'll be with Hermione conspiring with him!"

"I've been ill. Poppy said I wasn't to have any stress."

"I think you'll recuperate much faster if you talk to Harry."

Once he had Remus settled in his bed, Sirius went in search of his godson. Finding him in the library wasn't as much of a surprise as it might once have been. His appearance though caused a pang of concern to run through Sirius. Pale with dark bruise like shadows around his eyes, it appeared that Harry had not had enough rest in quite some time.

"The exams are finished, you know. I don't think studying now will affect your grades!"

"Hi."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. No I've made a fool of myself and now he hates me and we won't even be friends I'm so stupid"

"He doesn't hate you. You just backed him into a corner and Remus hates being backed into a corner. It doesn't matter what you're suggesting then, it could be rice for dinner and he still wouldn't agree. Why don't you go and see him?"

"I don't know."

"Go. He could use the company."

"He has loads of company."

"Pomfrey released him from the infirmary today. He's in his rooms alone."

"Do you really think he wants to see me?"

"Yes, now go. Shoo."

"My books..."

"I'll pack them. I have been in a library before you know."

"Really, I never would have guessed!"

Harry ran the whole way to Remus's rooms, but when he reached the door, he felt incredibly nervous and couldn't bring himself to knock. He wondered if Remus had changed his password to keep him out.

"I thought Gryffindors were known for their bravery."

Whirling round, Harry found himself face to face with Professor Snape who knocked briskly before just walking in anyway.

"Look what I found lurking outside."

"Harry." Inexplicably Remus felt far happier then he had since their confrontation in the infirmary. Handing over the goblet in his hands, Severus left. Awkward silence reigned. Remus was trying to formulate a sentence when Harry started apologising

"I'm sorry, I've been so childish, thinking only of what I wanted. I'm sorry. I hope we can at least be friends."

"I think I've been the childish one. Refusing to acknowledge what was right in front of me because it scared me to leave someone get that close again. It's easier to have everyone as friends or acquaintances. Less chance of getting hurt that way."

"Really?"

"Really. Can you forgive for being an idiot?"

"Only if you leave me kiss you."

"I think I can live with that."

This time when Harry kissed him, there was no struggling and it was the need for air which caused them to cease.

"I see now why people thought I was so odd for worrying about having things to talk about. This is much more fun."

"This is only a small bit of it," murmured Remus nuzzling Harry's neck. Harry had to admit he liked the fact that Remus was taller then him.

Looking into Harry's rather starting green eyes Remus found himself admitting" I don't know how I ever resisted you."

"You weren't meant too. Idiot. You were meant to swoon into my arms." Replied Harry with a slight pout which was spoiled by the smile which wouldn't leave his face.

"Swoon?"

"Yeah"

Remus laughed at Harry's expression which turned into a yawn he tried to stifle.

"Perhaps I should leave you to rest."

"I don't need rest. I've had loads these past few weeks, but if you insist I think I'd rest a lot better if you stayed here with me."

"And when you've rested, perhaps you could do some of the unspeakable naughty things, I dreamed of you doing to me."

"You've had dreams of me?"

"Yeah but I don't think the dream Remus has anything on you!"

"Really?"

"Really for one thing he didn't make that noise."

"Which noise?"

That one, and he definitely didn't do that."

"Indeed. What's else didn't he do?"

Some time later

" I don't think Pomfrey would call that resting!"

"Maybe not, but I feel much better."

"Goodnight, Remus."

"Goodnight, love. Sweet dreams."

"I don't need dreams, I've got you."

Fin


End file.
